The Next Chapter

hI have thought long and hard about the next chapter of my life.

I never asked to be the lawyer that would mount a fight for lawyer disability rights.  But it turns out that game is on!  Who would have thought when I set out on the journey to hold judges accountable, that it would lead into this area.

On some level, it makes sense.  In my humanness, I ended up being damaged by judicial abuse after sounding the alarm about judicial misconduct.  Retaliation, in its many forms, is a pretty common result for whistle blowers.  When I turned to the courts to help prevent more harm, they failed me.  When I asked for accommodation, they failed me again.  The combination of mounting evidence of judicial misconduct, ongoing health issues, and then, the failure to accommodate me, was the trifecta that took me down.

I do believe, had I been accommodated when originally requested, that my health would not have so suffered.  I did not ask for this job, the job was handed to me as part of my general judicial reform journey.

This is not an easy job.  But I am, now, equipped for it.

I am pleased to say I have recently gotten a “clean bill of health,” and although that does not mean there are no remaining issues, it means I am poised to be able to take on these issues, including by litigation.

In my deliberations, I have come to the following decisions:

  • I am done suffering in silence.  I am going to talk about how I was abused by certain judges.  I don’t want to stay in a victim space, I don’t think that’s healthy, either.  But part of the process of recovery is identifying the damage.  You cannot set off on the journey to recover, until you first identify the problem, mark that spot, and say, “I am starting from here.”  Life is complex, and I am not going to say that everything that has befallen me in the past two years was caused by one source.  I got pretty good during recovery from alcoholism at taking responsibility for my own “stuff.”  But I was damaged in part by judicial abuse, and I am not going to hide that, either.
  • I will continue to try to get the courts to respond to these issues.  I will continue to ask the state courts to take responsibility for their piece (not just for me, but for my clients), and I will continue to ask the federal courts to provide an impartial place to litigate these issues.  

I know this is asking judges to go outside their comfort zone.  But stop and consider how far I got shoved outside my comfort zone.  I stood up for the law.  I stood up for integrity in the process.  I stood up for my clients’ rights.  And look where it got me.  I have been forced to deal with some very uncomfortable things, in order to continue to do my part.

Of course, there will be those who will try to make it about me, hoping that if they can discredit me, that the issue will go away.  Clark is this…, Clark is that….  Really, that’s gone on for years.  People upset with me for refusing to engage in illegal behavior, or upset I point out problems with government, have called me all kinds of names.  This isn’t a new phase:  only the slurs have changed.  If I was going to let name-calling alone deter me, I would not have lasted a decade.

Moving this next chapter forward has been a significant part of my recovery.  Molding the clay that we hope will create judicial reform through litigation helped me to take my power back.  It helped me emerge from a cloud that had hung over me since I came into certain evidence a year ago.  I knew from the point I got that evidence, that my life would never be the same.  OMG was I right!  I have said before that this blog is therapeutic.  This project has, in the end, been therapeutic as well.  I appreciate those in my life who inspired me to do it, gave me hope, and saw me through it.

I appreciate those who are willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, who have decided that instead of attacking me based on rumor, that they will look at the evidence before making any decisions.

Look for more in the future…the next chapter…